When the topic of starting solid food came up I didn’t think twice – we would spoon feed W yummy purees. Being on the healthy side, I’d actually MAKE the purees here at home. Take that, store-bought-purees, I thought. I’m going to feed my baby the best.
Sigh. Yet again, my new-mom-naivete slapped me in face. There is new research. There are new schools of thought. More decisions. More explaining those decisions. And that’s when I learned about BLW (another annoying mommy-blog-o-nym short for baby lead weaning…or baby lead solids).
The concept makes sense, I’ll admit that. Baby learns to eat just like we eat. Give them normal food in a sort of soft stage and let them feed themselves. It puts the wheel (or the carrot stick) right in baby’s hand. They decide if they’re hungry. They decide if they’re not. Research shows that babies who eat in this way are less picky because they’re introduced to more foods and textures. Research shows that babies who eat this way have less allergies because they’re introduced to more foods. Research shows that babies who eat this way choke less because they learn how much they can or can’t put in their mouths…and they actually learn to chew before they learn to swallow (with purees, they learn to swallow first…so when they begin to need to chew they’re tempted to swallow first).
Choking. That’s where I’m stuck, folks. I can NOT get passed the fact that gagging is a normal part of this learning phase with BLW! I have an active imagination as it is. I go into worst-case-scenario-mode in a matter of seconds. To make things worse, this isn’t something totally imagined (like when I’m driving over a bridge and I start to think how I’d get W and the dog out of a sinking car if the bridge collapsed…). This is actually happening, and the line between gagging (there is noise associated with this) and choking (silent) is so very fine. I.Can’t.Deal.
Bottom line, I have to wait for the hubby to get home because I can’t do the BLW by myself. If anything ever went wrong I couldn’t live with myself. As I’m typing this, I’m thinking, Wow, this sounds so serious…like you’re talking about letting your kid play with knives while you’re home alone. Nope, just talking about eating some avocado.
When did eating go from my FAVORITE pastime to something that now scares the living daylights out of me? Where’s the fun in that? I certainly don’t want my anxiety to scare W into thinking that eating is scary.
We’re going to keep trying. Little by little. Wedge of food after wedge of food. Some nights I might have to call it quits after a serious gag/choke. Some nights I might survive a few. But, if it means he’s less likely to choke when he’s older…I guess I’ll *try* to stick with it.
Updates to follow.